There has never been a truly awful, **awful** entry in the _Pirates of the Caribbean_ franchise. But there's only ever been one that was truly any good. _Dead Men Tell No Tales_ does nothing to alter these assertions. I would not begrudge anybody who enjoyed their time with this latest _Pirates_ movie, particularly anyone who saw it on the big screen, there's the zany action romps that the series has been famous for from the get go (and that started wearing thin on me after the second one) and some truly spectacular visuals including shiny rocks and zombie sharks (which I will refrain from ...